Don't make promise you won't respect
by ficsmaniak
Summary: *story post 3X10 AND 3X13* What if Andy had the nerve to remind him of his promise at this critical moment, would it have changed a lot of things? (sorry I'm bad at summary)
1. Chapter 1

So I did have that one shot idea after I've seen the episode 3X10 (and I have to say it broke my heart!). I just hope it will be great, I first wrote it in French, so I'm translating it... Sorry in advance for mistake (hope it make sense because I mostly don't use translator, but had to on few points). I did change some of the 3X10 dialog and the 3X13 to adapt to my need. I hope it still will make sense to you ;)

* * *

It was so hard to hear the tears in her voice, but Sam had to admit he was no more able to continue that way. He couldn't be with her and make his job anymore, it was simply impossible. Not because he didn't want to, but because that when he was not with her, he was wondering if she was okay and when he was with her, he was scared of her putting her life in danger... It was definitely not good for the job!

- One day, maybe we will be able to be friend...

-Don't do that! Don't take everything that we are and put our relationship on some stupid cliché!

She was looking straight into his eyes, letting a tear slide on her cheek. Andy couldn't believe it, yes she understand that he just lived a terrible thing, the lost of his very best friend, but she was there, she was ready to listen to him, she wanted to help him to get through it... instead he was... he was doing what actually? Was he really breaking up with her? Outside of the Penny? Seriously?

- Are you saying it's over? If that's it, just leave, get in your truck and leave, but when you'll think of it, and believe me you'll, remember one thing you told me...

Sadness gives way to anger in McNally's eyes. She breathes in slowly then she reminded him the promise he made to her a moment ago already.

-Remind yourself that you promise that I wouldn't get rid of you without a good fight, yet you are the one breaking up with me behind the Penny without even throw a single shot!

There, she had said it. As Sam was opening his mouth to say something and she knew she didn't have the strength to hear it, she started running. She just hope he wouldn't follow her, after all he was the one who broke up with her, but she was a McNally, no way she was getting dump without a good replica. After a while running without anywhere to actually go, she decided it was time to head home. She saw Sam's truck, but she just ignored it, not even one scornful look, because hatred is as bad as love, it means that you still care about the other, but unconcern was way worst. She unlocked her door and got in. She made a quick check around, making sure she was alone (habit she pick up lately) Then she went for a shower.

The hot water didn't do as much good as she wished. She was constantly on her nerves lately. But her muscles didn't relax under the soothing heat of the water. So she got out fast and dries herself. She put her pajamas on and collapsed on her bed and it is only at this point that she finally let go. She let every tears go, until she fell asleep in one of those restless sleep, those who get to you when the life just won't let you go on your happiness.

Yeah! She had to find the exact words! Those who will make him crack; those who will make him check back his decision again and again and again... He wanted to explains her... to tell her how sorry he was to not have the strength to face the sadness, but she didn't let him the time, she was gone, she surely dreaded to get back on what she just said. He was not mad at her, he wish he could do the same, but he had say the inevitable, she was mad, she would forget him for sure.

When she left, he didn't want to follow her, but he wanted to be sure she got home safe and sound. When he finally saw her, he was relieved. However he knew by seeing her that the damage he had done tonight would be irrecoverable. She completely ignored him, not even a look at him, nothing! He knew he deserved it, but it hurts so much to see her like this. Sam started his truck and went home after that. It was late, he was exhausted and more than anything he was mad at himself. It didn't took him long to fall asleep, in which he saw that chaotic evening filled with promise to Andy, then her injured face that become hers, and would probably haunt him for a very long time.

* * *

The weeks go by, but McNally didn't feel any better. When she was at work, she was doing her best to ignore him, she didn't go out to the Penny anymore, actually she did not went out anymore. She refuses every invitation; even Tracy was unable to lift her mood. Andy is isolated herself, her eyes were emptying of any emotions she could feel, she wouldn't let anything or anyone to shake her up.

Andy got to the gym a lot of time, boxing against the bag or Nick because he would volunteer. He did understand that it was her way to let emotions out, or at least the few she was letting out; angriness and hatred. At start she barely would touch him, but she got stronger and more precise, hitting straight where it hurts. But he knew she needed it, so he would say anything.

Today, Luke came to meet them in the gym, usually nobody did it, but he had to talk with the two rookies. He offers them to be part of an UC, not any UC, but one of the most important of their careers! Without even thinking of it, McNally accepted, she didn't need the details, she just wanted a way out and it was exactly what Luke was offering her. Nick took few more minutes, he wanted some details, but he did accept, knowing that he was one of the few who will be able the break trough McNally's shell. They would have to go tonight, but first thing they had to do their shifts.

* * *

It was three weeks that Sam saw Andy closing herself to the world, her eyes losing their sparkles a little more every day. He knew she spent a lot of time in the gym with Collins, but he would like to see her smile. Even Nash couldn't tell him how she was, yet she was her best friend. On his side, he spent his nights at Penny, drinking until Oli would bring him back home. Most of the time he wouldn't even get to his bed, preferring his couch to all the memories.

He now regretted having yielded to all this misery, because he was now even more destroyed then before. He didn't know what to do. The few times Franks paired them, she didn't say a word of all shift, ignoring each of his remarks, funny or mean. He was simply trying to get her out of her hell, but she seemed to be rooted in deeper.

Today, he was determined to talk to this woman who knew how to show him how she felt, but first he would have to face this day that announced badly. He woke up late, with a big headache, and then he forgot his wallet home... Nothing could get well when a day started like that!

As he had predicted the day went very badly, he was paired with Collins, and early in the day they had to go in search of a kidnapper of children... And then he was here, in front of McNally who holds a bomb. She was without any doubt the strongest and most courageous woman he ever knew, but how can he makes her understand? How to tell her the way he feels toward her, tell her how much he regretted not having fought back that night.

- Andy, I

- No Sam! Don't say something you'll regret, don't make promise you won't keep.

Was it her opinion on him now? The guy who couldn't keep his promises and that he regrets them?

- Listen McNally! I don't regret having made this promise to you, but I wish I hadn't avoided the first round, I've never been the type to say how I felt, I'm not the type to express myself, find the right words for me it is so difficult, but you knew that! But the truth is, I can't take it anymore, I can't see you broken, ignoring me, I wish your eyes would get their sparkles back! I... I love you McNally, please don't doubt that! I would do anything for you!

* * *

_But what irony! It took the death of one of his friends to realize that he could not continue to see me._ _And I hold a bomb that might explode at the slightest misstep for him to realize that the risk of losing me was harder for him to bear my presence at his side._ _He's kidding me or what? I will teach him myself! I'm in love with him yeah, but you cannot let me down like an old sock and then pick me up again..._

- Too bad I hold a bomb ... That it is what it took you to realize all, but it is too late Sam, you lost me when you decided that both of us it was not worth the shot ...You took the decision alone, but you need to understand one thing, I'm not a toy, you can't drop me when it is going the way you want and come back trying to fix me after! The life isn't like that!

When Andy saw the minesweeper, hope is slowly returning in her heart, perhaps she finally will come out. She would be able to get UC tonight. Now seeing Sam for a moment, it was already a win! When the minesweeper tells her, she let go of the bomb, and once more, she ran away from the man who was making her heart beat. She refuses to let him see the pain that was hers for the three last weeks! After having dried her eyes from the tears that made her eyes red, she got out of the toilet and ran toward Collins' car without even addressing a look at one of her colleagues.

* * *

The day after the incident, Sam arrived early at the station, he wanted to talk with McNally, but he knew she would not listen to him anywhere else. He went straight to the gym, put on boxing gloves and slapped several times in the sandbag for this purpose. After two hours, he went to the evidence she would not come today...

He checked the schedule and she wasn't on it. She wasn't paired with anyone. She was not even at the briefing, but where could she be? He would wait the next day ... But would she talk to him? He doubted more and more, how could he convince her that he was ready to do anything for her if she did not hear? The day was long, Dov has not stopped talking throughout their patrol, then nothing extraordinary had happened, not even a speed ticket... a boring day what!

After a long day, he decided he really wanted to see Andy, so he went to her place. Arrived there, he found that her vehicle was not there, so he decided to come back the next day.

He had had enough! It was now one week Andy had not presented or to work or to her apartment, there were no a thousand solutions, she had gone to this great mission undercover and she didn't tell him! What would he do if she didn't come back? Or if it came back broken! He never forgives himself! In a fit of anger he had even visited Luke's office, he had raised his voice, he shouted his anger, threatened him with a fist, but Luke had made it clear he could kill him; he would not overturned the operation so far.

Sam left so angry against the world, he went to Penny drinking until he loses all meaning. Olivier once again took him home, but this time he did not let him alone, he knew his friend needed him more than anything in the world!

* * *

McNally and Collins had left late in the evening of the grenade incident. Andy did not say a word all the way even less on what had made her cry earlier in the day. She prepared earlier to become the young drugged she should be for the next few weeks or months. She breathed slowly trying partitioned each section of her life, those who would serve and those who wouldn't serve her. Definitely, Sam was one of those to completely forget about, but how would she, she loved him! He said he would do anything for her ... She crossed her fingers that the wait would be part of it ... Although she has pushed him away...

The first morning, it was destabilizing, confused to be found in a room that was not hers, but soon she realized where she was, almost immediately she would have liked to fall asleep, but she had to get up and prepare to walk the streets looking for drugs ...

A week and a half, it had been a week and a half she got up every day a little more discouraged than before. She still did not know what to do about Sam, and he was always on her mind. She could not concentrate on what she was doing. At least it was easy to find the drug she needed for the operation, Collins seems to enjoy the part he had; playing the pimp.

That night, she took a moment to undo her last suitcase ... She had to remain static for a while, but she should really be a fool not to have realized it faster! She walked over to a small general store walking very fast, and she bought two or three little things before returning home...

After a few minutes she had the confirmation. What would she do? It was impossible ... Think about it now did not help her to forget the man she would have liked to put aside would do it for a short time...

It knocked on her door; she dried her tears, and got up to see who was there. Collins was, so she let him in. Immediately he saw her eyes reddened, he was uncomfortable, but he had to know.

- Andy? What is going on? Are you sure you'll be able to continue?

- I tough that I could... but...

- But what?

She could not bring herself to tell him; instead she showed him the test she had done.

- I need to leave, and fast!

- Wait, I'm calling Luke, he'll get you out of here!

Less than an hour later, Andy was back in the car of her ex-fiancé. She was sitting on the back seat, unable to look at anyone or even say anything. Anyway what to say when you do not even know what to think...

- Swarek is probably at his place, you want me to call him?

- No, just drop me where we left my car please, I will get along with my problems.

She had answered a little more coldly than she had wanted, but he had no right to interfere in her life that way. She arrived at home quickly, then after getting rid of its entire luggage-that is to say, a few suitcases, she took shelter under the covers... Repeatedly turning, unable to sleep, she got up; she knew what she had to do. She walked over to the only home she knew she would find comfort ... or at least she hoped.

* * *

But who could knock at his home at two thirty in the morning? For once he was not drunk, he would have loved to sleep in peace ... When he opened the door he could only retain the words he had intended to spit in the face of this person.

- Andy? What are you doing here? Weren't you in UC?

- I... Yeah, I was, but I came home few hours ago.

- Already? But I thought it would be one of the biggest UC made in years! So either you're even better than what we think, or... actually I have no idea what you could be except of that...

Realizing he had left her on the edge of the door and he began to speak more than necessary, he ushered her in.

- You want some coffee?

- No Sam, I want to talk.

- At two and half in the morning? You know that you are a funny girl? When I want to talk you flee, and then you knock on my door in middle of the night to talk?

Andy smiled slightly, he was nervous, and it was so rare to see him!

- Sam, there is no good way to tell you what I need you to know, but I have no choice... So first be aware that I do love you...

He tried to stop her at that moment, to tell her he loved her, but she just didn't let him.

- And before you say anything, you also need to know that I'm pregnant and you are the father...

The silence felt in Swarek's kitchen. Pregnant? But it was a great time since they last... Was he really the father?

- When did you learn?

- A few hours ago, that's why I came back...

- And you are sure I'm the father?

- Yes.

- But it's been more than a month since we last seen each other, how didn't you realized it earlier?

- Hummm, stress? Sadness? Events? Life? I had not calculated the time between my last period, but when I opened my last suitcase today I saw it... and I counted ...

Sam got up, he turned round for a moment, absorbing the news, and then suddenly disappeared from the kitchen. Andy was worried, but did not dare to move. A few minutes later he returned with a letter.

- I wrote you that, the night I realized you vanished... it's weird to realized, but read and you'll understand what I mean.

"_Andy,_

_I don't know how long you would be gone, not even how you will be when you get back, but I hope you have been able to clear the feeling you have towards me. I will respect your decision, even if that means for me I have to get out of your life. Know that throughout our relationship, I loved you a lot even if I didn't admit it._

_Express myself is so hard, yet you see it was you who gave me that smile. You were my life, and I should have seen it before I left. I should have told you before your life was in danger, but I didn't know how! I wanted to shout it from every rooftops of the city, but this would not suffice._

_The only thing that could make me even happier than to have you by my side is to have you by my side for eternity. So we could plan a family, have a house, a dog named Boo Hadley... or not, but we could be crazy together! Because if we want to be crazy as well be two! And I don't want to be crazy without you!_

_Please come back and accept, because an eternity by your side would never be long enough! I want to fight with you, for you, for us!_

_I love you_

_Your Sam."_

When she had finished reading the letter, she could not help but let a tear. He had to ask her to spend eternity with him? When she looked up, she did not saw Sam immediately, and then she saw him kneeling before her with a ring in his hand. No words came out of her mouth, she simply fell on her knees and kissed him, it was the only answer she was able to give him.

* * *

So I know the end is super cheesy, but I didn't know how to end it up any other way! Did you like it? Comment? A review? I accept all ;)


	2. Chapter 2

Hello everyone! So some of you ask me for more, and I came up with this idea. So that chapter as you may be able to figure it out, is about Andy pregnancy, sadly I never was pregnant, so I had to base myself on some website, I hope I didn't invent too much... So Enjoy! And please if you like it give me a little review, it is motivating me to continue ;)

* * *

Chapter 2

Sam and Andy decided that it would be easier for them to live together since they were expecting. It was McNally's apartment who was chosen for cohabitation, this choice was not easy for Sam, but it was true that it was more practical than his apartment. Sam smiled stupidly every morning when he woke up next to this pretty woman.

They did not have difficulties to adapt to their life together. They got along well on almost anything, when not they did their part to compromise, not wanting to lose each other anymore.

McNally's return to the station had aroused some suspicion, so they had to announce the news earlier than what they wanted. The mother was then assigned to the paperwork earlier than she would have wanted.

_**15th week pregnant**_

Andy's nausea started to be rarer and he thanked heaven because he hated to see Andy devastated whenever she had to go to the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach which was already empty. They tried all the tricks of grandmothers, but nothing did it.

-I have nothing to wear!

Sam could not restrain his laughter; it was now the favorite sentence of his fiancée. Every morning she found herself a little bigger.

-Andy, you're so beautiful! If you want, we can go pick up some new t-shirts after work.

-But I can't put my t-shirt to go to work! I'm looking as big as a whale in it!

-No way, you're just having this cute little baby bump, it normal! I remind you that you are having a little life in you.

-What do I wear to work then?

- What you want, you know that you could be in rags you would be just as nice!

Moments later she came out of their room wearing Sam's old Academy sweater. Obviously it was too big for her, but she smiled, it was all he wanted. He approached her, kissed her on her forehead before hugging her.

_**20th week pregnant**_

Today was the big day; at last they would know the sex of the baby. Both prospective parents were totally excited. Andy constantly turned her engagement ring around her finger, helping her to both relax and realize that what she was living wasn't a fairy tale, but very real.

The sonographer approached them and invited them to enter the room. Andy could not stand it anymore, she desperately needed to go relieve her bladder, but she knew she had to pass this exam before. What idea to make her drink a liter of water just before!

-So, before we start, would you like to know the baby's sex if we can see it?

-Yes, they replied in unison.

-Good, so the gel will be cold, but it's normal.

They both remained motionless, breathing together. After a few minutes of examination the sonographer turned to the two officers.

-Eh! Well, looks like your little wants to surprise you, he definitely does not want me to see...

-He's not even born that he's having your attitude Sam!

The trio laughed and McNally was allowed to go to the toilet. She was slightly disappointed, but hey, it was not more serious than that. She went to Sam and they went in search of a snack for the woman who claimed that her stomach was absolutely to be fed.

_**25th week pregnant**_

Andy knew it was still early, but Frank insisted that her working hours are shortened; she had time to kill before the return of Sam. So she decided to go shopping and ordered a few pieces that she insisted to have, moreover they agreed that they would painted the nursery the next day; they were both off and Andy was still fit enough to help. She took pictures of everything she commanded, as if Sam did not like one of them; she had twenty-four hours to change her order. In the evening, she showed her purchases, he gave his opinion on everything, but he loved it.

The next morning, Sam woke his sweetheart with breakfast in bed. Then very quickly they were busy with the baby's room. They opted for a room with peaceful colors and stimulating at the same time. The ceiling and walls are a very sweet green apple, while there would be more shapes and objects contrasting blue, yellow and red on the walls.

At the end of the day the couple sat in the room to observe the sunset colors. It was just beautiful. So, they let go to kiss and to profane the nursery. Slowly, they returned to the living room. Sam put his hand on her stomach now well round and felt his baby move. A smile with a thousand sparkles lit up his face. He leaned down and kissed her belly where there was movement.

-I love you already small shrimp, I cannot wait to see you, but take your time. Do not tell anyone, but your mother is radiant, I mean even more radiant than before since we know that you are on the way!

Andy smiled a little more when she heard Sam talk to her belly, he was so happy!

-Sam, for marriage, we could talk a little bit because it's been several months since you asked me, but we did not put anything in the process...

-Yes, I know, I thought to wait until our little one comes into the world, so he would advantage our photos, at last if you do not mind?

-This is an excellent idea!

Not long after that, Andy fall asleep on the couch.

_**31st week pregnant**_

Today they had two appointments, the first was the last ultrasound, and there was still a small chance that they would know the sex today, but this time they were not under false hopes, they would know if the shrimp is well-positioned. Then later in the day, they would go to the photography center, the fifteenth division decided to give them a gift certificate for a photo session and a set comprising about 150 photos. It was huge; the gesture had been crying Andy.

After a long time to retain to urinate, Andy finally took place on the examination table.

-Be careful, the gel is cold.

The sonographer began his examination. A smile stretched his lips and then he showed them something on the screen.

-You see here? You will have a boy.

A bubble of euphoria broke out in the room. A little boy, a little Sam, this will be perfect!

-An idea for a name?

-We did not determine yet, but I'm sure we'll find the perfect one.

It's with a blissful smile that the couple left the clinic to visit their photographer. They took more than thirty different poses, putting a lot of emphasis on the belly of the mother. Then the time came to make the choice. Their favorite was the one where Sam stood behind Andy, his hands on her belly the hands of Andy on his own, they looked eye to eye with a smile. Love that read in their eyes spoke volumes about their future together.

_**34th week pregnant**_

Andy had now stopped working. She spent her days to rest as the doctor had ordered. But today she had had enough of doing nothing, so she took her car to go for a coffee with her father about ten minutes from her home. But Tommy waited a long moment but she did not show up. So he decided to finish the way he still had to go to his daughter. It is a block away from her's he saw the car accident. The paramedics were already there. Tommy went quickly out of his car to join her, but they barred the road.

-It's my daughter! Let me go! Andy! Andy, can you hear me?

She nodded slightly, but she suffered too much to give him a better answer. So they let him go. At the same time the sirens of a police car, then screeching tires, a slamming door, and footsteps racing. Andy looked up, even though she already knew who approached her.

-How is she?

Paramedics look at him, but would not say a word.

-I am his fiancé; I have the right to know.

This is when Andy made a sound between a scream and moan. She had to be taken to the hospital as soon as possible. Sam helped the paramedics to transfer Andy on a stretcher, mechanically responding to questions from paramedics. When she was installed at the rear of the machine, Sam motioned to Tommy to ride with her; he would take care to escort the ambulance with his patrol car. The ride was extremely short; Sam opened the traffic like a rocket helping. Unfortunately, he was taken in the waiting room as well as his future father-in-law. The minutes passed, but doctors do not always come up. The two men, now joined by several of their friends, became more and more impatient.

Finally after thirty minutes, a doctor came at a run.

-M. Sam Swarek?

Sam jumped from his chair, and went to join the doctor.

- Follow me, we need to deliver your fiancée, but she refuses if you're not there.

Without a word the two men went in the opposite direction at full speed. He quickly pulled the blouse that the nurse had prepared and went into the room. He was not prepared for the sight he had. Andy was awake, but messed up badly. Bruises covered her body. Her eyes were tired, the light nearly extinct.

-But ... what happened? I mean, I saw the accident, but she did not seem in such bad shape.

-We will explain it all, but we must first get your son away, otherwise he will die!

Sam stopped, he was appalled. He did not want to lose his son! So he stood alongside Andy holding her hand while the doctors proceeded to the caesarean section. He helped the doctors to cut the umbilical cord and then he had the pleasure of taking their son in his arms, yet when he wanted to show the baby to Andy, one sound caught his attention, one constant noise, indicating that the heart of his sweetheart had stopped beating!

He held his son against his heart, watching helplessly the scene unfolding before his eyes! The doctors hurried, every second counted, Sam knew, but he had a little being so fragile in his arms, he could not let go for help. He came up while avoiding being in the way, then he let his heart speaks.

-Andy! Do not do it! Fight! For me, for you, but especially for him! Our son! Go my warrior, you're strong, and you can do it! Make your heart beat! Find the strength in you!

Still nothing. The doctors were shocking her for the third time, when a pulse was heard.

"Beep ... beeps ... beep ..."

A general sigh was heard in the room. A nurse came to help Sam with the baby, making it the basic examinations. As the baby was safe in the arms of the nurse, he let out sobs. After several minutes that seemed endless; they gave him his son back. It is at this point that Andy opened her eyes; on this beautiful picture of a father holding his son.

-Why are you crying?

Sam didn't know what to answer, so he decided to go with the truth.

-Because it is the more challenging day of my life since a really long time!

He handed the child to the woman he were afraid to lose again. She took it, held him gently and gave him his first drink. The new family was quickly transferred to a private room where all their friends were invited after ensuring that Andy had a heart monitor to make sure she was okay. When their friends took off for the evening, the doctors came back and explained what had happened since the accident.

Andy had the accident. It is for this reason that she had suffered so much and they had to operate in emergency. As Andy had a cardiac arrest, we do not know the cause, but for the next forty-eight hours she would be under monitor. Thereafter, if all went well, she could come home with the rest of the family. When the doctor disappeared Andy looked at, Sam and their son.

-So you're thinking about keeping him for yourself or I am allowed to take him?

After a small kiss on his son's forehead, he gently put him in his mother arms.

-So my sweet little shrimp, you were born a little earlier than expected... How are we going to name you?

She looks at Sam, trying to see if he had any idea.

-Honestly, I'm so happy that you're alive, that you could name him Donald, I wouldn't be mad at you...

-Donald? No way, but what would you say about Jerry Sam Swarek?

Sam's eyes were filled with tears instantly; he did not allow an escape.

-Certainly, I have the best girlfriend in the world. I have an idea! Once you're up, we marry! Not in three months, I do not want to wait; I do not want to risk losing you again! I'd marry you on the spot, but I doubt that doctors will let you leave to marry me!

Andy laughed, and then serious again, she motioned him to come closer. She whispered a small "yes" to the ear, and then sealed their agreement with a kiss.

* * *

So here it was with the second chapter, I hope you liked it. Maybe I will have a third chapter at some point. You liked it? You have any comments? Ideas? Let me know! I'm waiting for your reviews with impatience. See ya and have a good day!


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